drowning in trauma

drowning in trauma

Two years ago this week I was the victim of a horrific crime. A crime so horrific that I can not even share the details of it with the world. Please respect me and do not go to my family and friends and ask them for details that they may or may not have. In the first weeks, months and year that past right after the crime we were drug through the ringer of the court system and shown that there is no justice even when it is a measure 11 crime. We pushed the court to convict and accept nothing but the maximum sentence. Finally we “won” and got a full confession and conviction. However because the perpetrator is a minor he never saw the inside of a jail cell. This week however I caught him violating his terms of release and probation and I am hopeful we will go back in front of a judge and she will give him some time in jail. I spent these past two years trying to drown my trauma & panic with many things…… most of them very unhealthy and very unsafe. Drinking too much to ease the massive panic that I was now living with seemed to be where I always landed. I found myself in a horrible dark place that was immensely frightening to enter into and then somehow that very dark place became a dark blanket that I would wrap myself up in and hide from the world. At first I would just play, let go and pretend in there. I would crawl into my dark hole and...
Long days of summer

Long days of summer

I often wonder what they will remember from these long days spent together during the summer. Chances are that they will not remember me sitting on the couch reading to them, laying in there beds at night listening to what feels like an endless stream of chatter and ideas, chasing them around and cleaning up like crazy or all the soft tender moments spent together with what feels like all the time in the world to spare. Most likely they will remember me yelling at them to go outside until lunch, nagging them to clean up & saying if you don’t stop fighting I am going to EXPLODE among many other very proud parenting moments that all of us parents partake in from time to time.   Being a mother is the hardest job I have ever taken on. The ups and downs are extreme. However, all it takes is one tiny “mommy I love you” and payment is made in full....
these two are getting married this weekend!

these two are getting married this weekend!

my brother justin and soon to be sister in-law alysha are getting married this weekend! Lots of excitement is in the air as family begins to come into town today. This photo is from one of our annual family beach trips (2010). Justin and Alysha are perfect for each other. The perfect mix of love, fun, sarcasm, humor and so much more. When they are together you can just see it when they look at each other that they are at times saying things without using words. They are loving and affectionate with one another and also have a fun humor banter back and forth that everyone enjoys being around. I am so excited for them to begin this new beautiful chapter of their lives. We can’t wait for...
Personal work: by Jodi Collins Photographer located in Portland Oregon

Personal work: by Jodi Collins Photographer located in Portland Oregon

Personal work serves many purposes for artists. It is art that we make only for ourselves with no one else’s agenda in mind, it is our vision, our dreams, our terror & fears etc pored out into a piece of art. For me it is an outlet. A means to an end. A form of healing and expressing what lays deep within my soul.   I am looking for models for my personal work for the coming year. If you are interested or know someone who is send me an email or TXT. I am looking for all age groups and people from all walks of life. Forward this link to anyone you think may be a good candidate or just simply share it. Thanks!  ~Jodi   Jodiabcollins@gmail.com 503-293-4186 call or...